1. |
Will to Kill
01:32
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All I feel is less than whole
All I have inside is hunger
Won’t you help to fill this hole
Won’t you help me vent my anger
Tell me what good can I do
Easier to do some evil
Wrong is right and false is true
Now I’m dancing with the devil
Oh my will, my will is weak
I don’t practice what I preach
I don’t sow all that I reap
I’m lost and low, my will is weak
Tie my wrists and bind my feet
Hold my tongue so I can’t speak
Make me humble make me meek
Make me strong, my will is weak
I want to do something bad
Something that can’t be forgiven
Maybe I should kill a man
Then I’d know the price of living
Now my future’s looking bleak
I’ve lost all I longed to keep
Help me please I’m incomplete
Hold me now, my will is weak
I want to do something bad
Something that can’t be forgiven
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2. |
Fag Machine
03:40
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I have never felt part of your scene
I am not like you, I've never been
I don’t hold your hopes or share your dreams
I'm a motherfucking fag machine
I don’t want to buy your magazine
All it does is make me feel unclean
I am only here to vent my spleen
Like a motherfucking fag machine
I'm still trying to vent past wars not won
Of the lies of the father and the sins of this son
I don’t care if you don’t like me
And I see why you want to fight me
But I’m not like all the other queens
I’m not gonna try to treat you mean
I don’t even wanna keep you keen
I'm a motherfucking fag machine
I have never felt part of your scene
I am not like you, I've never been
I don’t care if you think it’s obscene
I'm a motherfucking fag machine
But I'm tired of all the sex with strangers
I'm through with all this flirting with danger
I don’t care if I remain alone
I just know I'm not a fucking clone
I don’t hold your hopes or share your dreams
I'm a motherfucking fag machine
I don’t want to buy your magazine
All it does is make me feel unclean
I am only here to vent my spleen
Like a motherfucking fag machine
Hold me heal me make me fresh
Cleanse me, these sins of the flesh
I have never felt part of your scene
I am not like you, I've never been
I don’t care if you think it’s obscene
I’m a motherfucking fag machine
But I'm not like all the other queens
I'm not gonna try to treat you mean
I don’t even wanna keep you keen
I'm a motherfucking fag machine
But I'm tired of all the sex with strangers
I'm through with all this flirting with danger
Don’t go down in the park
Don’t go down in the dark
Don’t get down on your knees
Don’t sell yourself to sleaze
Oh don’t go down there please
You’ll get a bad disease
It makes you feel unclean
Just like a fag machine
I have never felt part of your scene
I am not like you, I've never been
I don’t hold your hopes or share your dreams
I'm a motherfucking fag machine
I don’t want to buy your magazine
All it does is make me feel unclean
I am only here to vent my spleen
Like a motherfucking fag machine
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3. |
Masochismo
02:34
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My mouth and tongue flood with saliva’s salt
As flame flushes my ears, and blood, my brain
And all my skin writhes with a sense of fault
-As livid with the parasites of shame
A second fist hits lip and rips red hot
Saliva drips, now marbled with bright red
A million worms amass within my gut
As muffled ringing resonates my head
Throw all the world can throw at me
Let it all flow, bring in on
Certain in my uncertainty
What don’t kill me will make me strong
Please take me with vivacity and verve
Or hate me with raw passion and pure zeal
Just let me feel that something’s touched a nerve
Or show me something real that I can feel
You beat me with your barrages of blame
-Attempt to rectify me with your fist
And even though I writhe in fear and shame
You’ll never truly hurt a masochist
Throw all the world can throw at me
Let it all flow, bring in on
Certain in my uncertainty
What don’t kill me will make me strong
My mouth and tongue flood with saliva’s salt
As flame flushes my ears, and blood, my brain
And all my skin writhes with a sense of fault
-As livid with the parasites of shame
A second fist hits lip and rips red hot
Saliva drips, now marbled with bright red
A million worms amass within my gut
As muffled ringing resonates my head
Throw all the world can throw at me
Let it all flow, bring in on
Certain in my uncertainty
What don’t kill me will make me strong
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4. |
Turning Tide
02:34
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When subside the tides of learning
When my reservoir drains dry
What will then fulfill my yearning
What will brighten up my sky
What will then keep my heart burning
Fuel the fire in my eye
Will the world still go on turning
When the embers fade and die
Will I even yearn at all
When my inspiration fades
Or just curl into a ball
And just draw down all the shades
Will my silent world grow small
Retiring in the mire I’ve made
Or will I reel so from my fall
I reach for the razor-blade
What’s the meaning of my birth
Why these strange sad songs I’m singing
Have I sung a thing of worth
Is the bell I ring worth ringing
Why turn misery to mirth
Are my syphilitic gifts worth giving
Am I tent pegged to the turf
Of a life that’s not worth living
When subside the tides of learning
When my reservoir drains dry
What will then fulfill my yearning
What will brighten up my sky
What will then keep my heart burning
Fuel the fire in my eye
Will the world still go on turning
When the embers fade and die
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5. |
Never Known
03:14
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I wish I’d never seen your face
And looked deep in those eyes
I wish I had the insight
To see through your cheap disguise
I wish I wasn’t blinded
By a longing to be loved
I wish I wasn’t weak
I should be cynical and tough
I wish I’d never know you
Wish I’d never heard your lies
I wish I’d never glimpsed
The silent suffering in your eyes
And felt that I could feel you
I hoped that I could heal you
But now I wish I’d never known you
As I’ll bet you wish you’d never met me
Why did I think that I could fix you
When I opened up my heart
You left me bruised and broken
Should have seen it at the start
Now I’m at the end of a great mess
I should not have let begin
This war that you created
That neither of us could win
I wish I’d never know you
Wish I’d never heard your lies
I wish I’d never glimpsed
The pent-up pain behind your eyes
And felt that I could feel you
I hoped that I could heal you
Oh why is my heart guided
By such longing and such lust
That it lets down its defences
As it opens wide with trust
For someone who was toxic
Who would only drag me down
You were the weight around my neck
That tried to make me drown
Well now your poison’s in my system
You’re still underneath my skin
And I wish I’d never met you
Wish I’d never let you in
I wish I’d never know you
Wish I’d never heard your lies
I wish I’d never glimpsed
That tortured terror in your eyes
And felt that I could feel you
I hoped that I could heal you
But now I wish I’d never known you
Now I wish I’d never known you
Now I wish I’d never known
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6. |
Screwed Love
04:56
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Show my mercy
I never meant to cause you harm
My heart is broken
And you’ve twisted both my arms
You were my mirror
There was so much you made me see
Now I see clearer
That you reflect the bad in me
In turn I’ll take all I can take
And I will twist all things around
I’ll test your limits till you break
And I will kick you when you’re down
Is this true love
This screwed love
Is this true love
This screwed love
Please forgive me
I never meant you any harm
My heart is open
Now that you’ve broken both my arms
You know I miss you
In your absence I grow sick
Because I need you
Just like a junkie needs a fix
In turn you’ll take all you can take
And you will twist all things around
You’ll test my limits till you break me
And then rape me when I’m down
And I thank you, and I thank you
For the moments that you gave
For making me your lover
And your brother, and your slave
In this screwed love
This screwed love
Is this true love
This screwed love
Please excuse me
I didn’t mean to make a fuss
I know I chose this
I must’ve know that soon enough
I would feel trapped here
In the confines of your cage
But I chose this
I submitted to your rage
Yes In truth I asked for all this
And I mapped out my own fate
To be the vent for all your anger
All your hunger and your hate
So I thank you, oh I thank you
For the moments that you gave
For making me your lover
And your brother, and your slave
In this screwed love
This screwed love
Is this true love
This screwed love
Is this true love
This screwed love
Is this true love
This screwed love
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7. |
Bury Me Now / Bleed
05:12
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I’ve fallen by the wayside
I fear there is no upside
I dug myself a hole
So I’ll lie in it
Come on then bury me now
I’m digging myself under
I tore myself asunder
I dug myself a hole
So I’ll lie in it
Come on then bury me now
‘Cause when you’re in the shit you better
Find some way out of it or else you
Keep sinking, sinking down
Why not lie in it
Come on then bury me now
To many times I cried
I don’t want no suicide
But when you're dead inside
Then you may as well
Come on then bury me now
My soul is soiled and rotten
I think I’ve reached rock bottom
I dug myself a hole
So I’ll lie in it
Come on then bury me now
I grasp but can’t catch hold and
What soul I had is sold and
I dug myself a hole
So I’ll lie in it
Come on then bury me now
Bury me bury me bury me now
Bury me bury me bury me now
Bury me bury me bury me now
Bury me bury me bury me now
Bury me bury me bury me now
Bury me bury me bury me now
Bury me bury me bury me now
So I’ll die in it come on then bury me now
Sometimes I want sometimes I need
To penetrate the skin and get beneath the surface
Find out what it means to bleed
Sometimes I want sometimes I need
To lacerate the skin and open up the surface
Find out what it means to bleed
I can’t be more than what I am
And what I am is less than I could be
If I were something more than what I am
So tear apart this little man
So I can be a better man
Through being torn apart and finding what I am
I am an orifice, a mister, I’m a blister
But I wouldn’t fist my sister
Cause she knows how women bleed
Every month the menstrual mood swings
Hitting hard with aches like bruising
And a sense of loss and losing all because we need to breed
I can’t be more than what I am
And what I am is less than I could be
If I were something more than what I am
So tear apart this little man
So I can be a better man
Through being torn apart and finding what I…. AM…
Sometimes I want sometimes I need
To penetrate the skin and get beneath the surface
Find out what it means to bleed
Sometimes I want sometimes I need
To lacerate the skin and open up the surface
Find out what it means to bleed
I can’t be more than what I am
And what I am is less than I could be
If I were something more than what I am
So tear apart this little man
So I can be a better man
Through being torn apart and finding what I… AM…
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8. |
Furnace
03:01
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There's some who'd want to hurt you
Some want to see you bleed
As others would pervert you
To satisfy their greed
This world is red in tooth and claw
The hunger to survive
I'm hurt yet I come back for more
Pain shows me I'm alive
And sinking in my darkest hour
So sure I will expire
I'm born again, born again from waves
Waves of blood and fire
There's some who'd want to break you
To stunt all you can be
Don't let their cruel words take you
Down to uncertainty
It's hate that feeds their anger
And fear that feeds their hate
Don't be the one to shoulder
The burden of that weight
And sinking in my darkest hour
So sure I will expire
I'm baptised, baptised in these waves
Waves of blood and fire
This is all I have to say
I cannot tell you more
It's in this fiery furnace
That my hardened heart was forged
And burning in the ashes
Of my youth's funeral pyre
A heart aglow, heart aglow
With blood and fire
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SPLEEN Brighton, UK
Spleen are a five-piece alternative, post-punk, queercore group from Brighton UK, with electro / disco influences and Gothic Sensibilities.
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